


Gotham City's Finest Cop and Robber

by Aragarna



Category: Batman - All Media Types, White Collar
Genre: Crossover, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2018-05-31 08:10:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragarna/pseuds/Aragarna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal tells Peter his encounter with Batman during a take down and how The Dark Knight saved his life... Set in early S4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gotham City's Finest Cop and Robber

Neal greeted Agent Patterson with his best smile. The master of “the Cave” didn’t look too pleased to see the convict in his realm, but after two weeks of that daily routine, he seemed resigned that Burke and Caffrey came as a “package”. You can’t have one without the other. So Patterson let Neal in, not without a stern look and a reminder that Agent Burke had to be back in 60 minutes. Neal flashed another smile and made his way through the rows of evidence, looking for Peter.

Peter was at his small desk, and was visibly grumpy. But nothing could have ruined Neal’s mood that day.

Hey Peter!” he greeted his friend, “Ready for a break?”

Peter looked up, and his face lit up. Not as much as usual though, and Neal noticed a small wince as Peter got up and grabbed his jacket.

“Are you okay Peter?” Neal asked, concerned.

Peter gave him a dismissive shrug. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Yet Neal noticed that for a second, his partner put a protective hand on his ribcage.

Neal frowned at that, but didn’t push Peter further. Instead, as they made their way to the picnic area, he went back to the reason of his jovial mood, hoping it would cheer Peter up too.

“You’ll never guess what happened last night!”

“How would I know, I was stuck in here cataloguing counterfeited Louis Vuitton bags…”

Neal sobered a little. “Sorry about that, you know I would have helped you, but they needed me for the take down. And Mozzie is busy doing…. Actually I have no idea what he’s doing, but I haven’t seen him.”

Peter shook his head. “It’s fine Neal. I don’t need any illegal help to con my way out of here. I’ll do it fair and square.”

As he sat down at the lonely table in the picnic area, Peter winced again. “Peter, what’s wrong with your ribs?”

“I told you, I’m fine. Rough night, that’s all.”

Neal was not buying it. “Rough night, really? You had a rough night with Elizabeth?” He asked, while unpacking the gourmet lunch of the day.

Peter gave his partner an exasperated look.  “Yesterday evening, Patterson asked me to move some heavy crates, I must have pulled a muscle… Anyway what happened to _you_ yesterday?”

Neal wasn’t fooled by the deflection, but he just couldn’t resist any longer.

His eyes lit up like fairy lights. “I saw Batman! He helped us take Dent and his crooks down!”

Peter froze, his fork half way from his lunch box to his mouth. He looked up at Neal, incredulous. “Batman? _The_ Batman?”

“Yes, Peter, The Batman. How many Batmen do you know?”

“But Batman never bothered giving us a hand before…” Peter said, still doubtful.

Neal winked. “Well because we didn’t need any help before. You know, our 94% rate and all…”

Peter chuckled. “The White Collar Division started a while before your time, my young friend. But I’ve always assumed psychos and serial killers seemed more important to him… Not that I would have been thrilled seeing him interfering in my cases anyway.”

Neal looked surprised. “Really?  Why? He might have caught me quicker than you did.”

Peter planted his gaze into Neal’s. “If that guy really wants to help with catching criminals and bringing  more justice to the city, he should join Gotham City’s PD, or the FBI. There is a reason we have a system. It might not be perfect, but it’s still better than having any citizen carrying out their own justice, based on their own criteria.”

Neal shrugged defensively. “Whatever.  He still helps.  He saved the situation yesterday. And he saved my life!” Neal informed Peter with a certain pride.

“Oh he did?” Peter smiled, with a hint of amusement in the eyes.

“Yes. I told you we were working the Dent case. It was supposed to be an easy take down, but for some reason Cooper knew exactly who I was – Cooper was Dent’s right arm – and it all went south. All of a sudden, there were guns – and I mean _big_ shotguns – everywhere. I said the code for back-up, but there was no way our team would have been in in time. Dent told Cooper to kill me and he was about to pull the trigger when suddenly, woof, I saw a black shadow coming between me and the gun. It was Batman! He took the bullet for me! Can you believe it, Peter? Batman saved my life!”

Peter smiled as he absent-mindedly stroked his painful ribcage. Neal beamed. “Oh that’s funny, Batman took the bullet right on that same spot where you seem to have injured yourself. You know, he took it short range, and even though his suit is bullet-proof it must have been painful. I heard him gasp for air when the bullet hit him. Of course, it didn’t stop him from disarming and neutralizing Cooper in two seconds.” Neal was on a roll, reliving the events, miming the action. “Oh Peter you would have loved it! Then he launched his batarang. There was like a black flash crossing the air and all the men who were reaching for their guns were disarmed. Batman had disarmed all of them in one throw of the batarang! You know, he has a hell of a slicer. He throws that gadget kind of the same way you throw a baseball.”

“He should probably be careful with his rotator cuff, then.” Peter mocked.

Neal suddenly became pensive. “You think he is a baseball player in real life?”

Peter shook his head. “No, I bet he is probably some rich guy with too much time on his hands. So that’s it, huh? One batarang and they were all done.”

“Oh no, there was some fighting too! But you know, piece of cake for The Dark Knight.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Don’t call him that…”

“Why? That’s what they call him in the comic books.”

Peter burst into laughter and almost choked on his piece of bread. “Don’t tell me you read that!”

Neal looked offended. “Why? It’s a great comic!”

“Yes, Peter Pan, it’s a _comic_ ,” Peter teased, “It’s for _kids_.”

“No, it’s not!” Neal protested, “Anyway, Jones and Diana finally arrived on the scene with back-up, but Batman had done all the work already.  All they had to do was cuff Dent and his guys. And phew, Batman had vanished.”

“Vanished?”

“Yes, just like that.  One second he is standing right beside you, and the next, he is gone. It seems like he waits for you to blink or look away and phew, he disappears.”

Peter laughed. “Now you know how _I_ feel when you do that.”

A big grin lit up Neal’s face, and he remained silent for a while, thinking back on the events of the night.

“I didn’t get a chance to thank him.” He finally said, more serious. “He didn’t even look at me. I mean, he did, very briefly, just before the team burst in. It was strange. He turned around to check on me and it was like…”

“Like what?”

“Like he cared? Or he was worried about me maybe. I don’t know, it was very brief, and it was dark. I’m not sure anymore. For a second I thought there was something familiar about him.” Neal shook his head. “It’s probably just me.”

Peter laughed. “Yes, it is probably just you! And you really need to stop reading that comic.”

Neal shrugged. “Anyway, I just wished he would have stayed a little longer.”

“He probably had other lives to save.”

“Probably.”

They finished their lunch in silence, until another thought crossed Neal’s mind.

“Actually, I’m sure he is a cop, or FBI.”

Peter frowned. “Why’s that?”

“He must have access to investigations. He can’t do all the investigations on his own. He must have a way to know where the bad guys are.”

Peter shrugged. “Yes, probably.”

Neal looked at his partner, somewhat surprised by his lack of enthusiasm. “You’re not interested in knowing who he is?”

“Nope.”

Neal frowned. “Come on, Peter, that doesn’t sound like you.”

“Actually I’m much more concerned about the fact that Arthur Cooper knew you. How come?”

“Eh that was not my fault!”

“I’m not saying it was, but you need to be careful, Neal. I can’t have your back from the Cave,” Peter said with genuine concern. “How come Cooper knows you but you don’t know him?”

“I – wait a minute, I didn’t tell you his first name was Arthur. How do _you_ know Cooper?”

“Burke!” Patterson was coming over to them. Peter looked at his watch and grabbing one last pastry, gave Neal a false apologetic smile. “My 60 are up. Gotta go. Thanks for the lunch, Neal.”

Peter stood up, and before leaving, he gave his partner an earnest look. “I’m glad Batman had your back yesterday.”

\--

Peter was out of the Evidence warehouse at 5:02. Patterson had made him wait 2 minutes for the 2 extra minutes of his lunch break. His ribcage was hurting like hell. He had checked; no rib was cracked and yet it felt as if one was.

Neal was waiting for him outside. Peter knew his friend felt a little guilty that he was stuck in “the Cave” To be honest, Peter was grateful for all of Neal’s attentions to cheer him up, even though he kept telling him not to feel bad for him. But today Neal had his con look all across his face, smiling from one ear to the other. That couldn’t be good. He was up to something.

Pretending not to catch on, Peter smiled at his partner as they walked side by side to his car.

“Hi Neal, what’s up?”

Neal put on his most innocent look, even though he knew it wouldn’t fool Peter. “Just checking on you. How’s your rib?”

Peter gave Neal a long look. Neal seemed to be suspicious about that injury. Peter would have to be more careful not to show how hurt he was. “It’s fine. I told you it was nothing to worry about.”

Neal waited for them to be in the car to send his first arrow. “So tell me, what made those crates so heavy that you pulled a muscle?” His tone was perfectly casual, but Peter knew there were never innocent questions in Caffrey’s interrogations.

Peter gave him a distrustful look, but had no choice but to answer. “Forged medieval weapons. All that metal made the crates heavier than they looked.”

Peter started the engine and they left the parking lot. He wasn’t sure if it that was a good idea to ask Neal if he wanted to come over for dinner that night. He seemed way too suspicious. On the other hand, not inviting him to come over like he usually did would only trigger another alarm in his friend’s mind.

But Neal didn’t give him any time to choose the best strategy out of the dangerous path of their conversation of the day.

“Oh by the way, Peter, you didn’t tell me how you knew Arthur Cooper’s name.” That was definitely not an innocent question. He was never going to find a way out of this.

“I talked to Diana and Jones yesterday. They told me about the case. I’m still planning to come back to White Collar you know, so I keep up with the investigations, even when I’m not consulting.”

A triumphant smile appeared on Neal face and he clapped his hands. “I knew it! Oh my god, Peter that is awesome! Why didn’t you tell me? No, that of course I understand. But what I can’t understand is how you managed to keep it from me for so long! Really, I’m impressed, Peter.”

Peter sent a sidelong glance to his partner, not sure what to say… “Neal, what –“

“No no Peter, I got you! Don’t deny it, it’s too late! Wow I would _never_ have thought it was you. Maybe that’s why I didn’t see it.”

Neal turned to his partner. “I checked the Evidence log.”

“You what?”

“Forged Medieval weapons did arrive at the Evidence warehouse two weeks ago. I knew you would pick up that one. I also talked to Patterson. He is not that bad actually, you just need to know how to break the ice. Anyway he told me they haven’t been moved since they arrived. That’s your task for next week by the way.”

“Great…” was all that Peter found to say.

“And while I was at it, I checked when you finished your bag cataloguing. That was yesterday at 4:58. I must say Peter, I’m really impressed on how good you’ve become at that Evidence job.”

“hmm… thanks?”

Neal laughed. “So Peter, will you tell me what you did yesterday that caused that rib’s pain?”

“No.”

“Oh come on Peter, there is no reason to hide it now!”

As Peter refused to answer, Neal went on. “You know, of it all, what raised my suspicion the most was that you weren’t interested in knowing who was Batman. The only reason Peter Burke wouldn’t be interested in knowing something like that would be that he knew it already. And of course, there was the fact you knew the name Arthur Cooper. I asked Jones and Diana, they didn’t mention him to you. Which means you looked into the case files by yourself. You keep your eye on us, even from the Cave. That’s touching Peter – if completely illegal. You know it’s funny how easily I predicted your lies, and yet, I never suspected such a huge secret!”

Peter was doing his best to pretend to be focused on his driving, but he had a hard time hiding his amusement. It looked like Neal had finally caught him. If he was totally honest with himself he had to admit he wasn’t expecting to be able to keep this secret for too long.

He glanced at his passenger, who was staring at him with a huge grin. Their eyes met and they exchanged a complicit smile. Peter could see in Neal’s eyes the same hint of genuine admiration he saw when his partner learned he had been a baseball pro.

“I have to say,” Neal resumed, “you’re good. I’m truly impressed that you can keep such a big secret from me. Well, today was probably not your day…”

“Clearly,” Peter admitted, “It must be all those painkillers I took, it slowed down my brain. The trick is to make people believe you’re an easy read, that you can’t hide anything from them. You’ll be the last person they’ll suspect.”

“True. Wow I had no idea you could be so devious!”

Peter smiled. “I told you there were lots of things about me you didn’t know.”

“But what about what you said earlier, about not liking the idea that any citizen could make their own justice?”

“I meant it. And I do believe in our system of Justice, that’s why I’m FBI. But sometimes the system needs a little push… But I knew you wouldn’t resist talking about last night, so I had to make sure I would be, in your mind, the last person to suspect.”

“Wow…”

“Stop with the wow and awe, please!”

“Seriously Peter, I’m impressed. You are incredibly good at it. I really though your surprise was genuine at lunch.” Neal made a face. “You had a blast listening to me, didn’t you?”

“I did.” Peter admitted with a big grin.

“Who would have thought?  You’re as good a con as the best of them.”

“And that would be you, I suppose.”

Neal grinned. “Of course.  Since we’re almost to the Brooklyn Bridge, I guess I’m invited to dinner tonight?”

Peter startled. “Oh right, sorry. You got me distracted. Yes, sure, if you want to. Unless you had something else already planned. I can still turn around.”

“Oh no no, Peter, you won’t escape my company that easily tonight. I want to know everything.” Neal grinned as Peter rolled his eyes.

As they stopped in the traffic, Peter turned to face his friend and look him in the eyes. “Neal, this is serious. I need to know I can trust you on this. Don’t ever tell anyone anything about it, alright? Not even Mozzie. Not a single clue that you may know Batman’s identity. Nothing.”

Neal nodded. “Of course Peter, I understand. You can trust me.”

“I do.” Peter said as the traffic resumed.

“Does Elizabeth know?”

“Of course she does. I don’t hide anything from my wife.”

“Right. Oh… But does she know about you and Catwoman?”

“There is no me and Catwoman!”

“That’s not what I read…”

“Neal, for god’s sake, that comic is a load of crap!”

“Too bad, I liked the idea that you, The Dark Knight, were in love with a burglar cat.”

Peter shook his head.

“And El isn’t…”

Peter sighted. “No Neal, El isn’t Catwoman either. Or Batgirl.  El is El.”

“Oh ok.”

Neal went quiet for a while and Peter was just starting to hope the conversation was over now that the truth had been told. But that would not be like Neal.

“Is the Batcave your basement? Can I see it?”

At that point Peter wasn’t sure if he should be amused or exasperated. It was more a mix of both, like always with Neal, whether they were talking about Peter’s crosswords or Peter’s secret identity… So Peter played along.

“No Neal, the Batcave isn’t in my house, and no, you’re not allowed to see it.”

“Oh come on! At least tell me where it is.”

“No. It’s for your own safety. The less you know the better.”

“Hmmm. Okay. At least tell me what is true?”

“What do you mean?”

Neal hesitated a little. “I mean, from the comic, what’s true?”

Peter laughed. “Well, not much. My parents are alive and well, I’m not a tortured soul, traumatized by some vision as a boy. I’m not rich and I don’t have a valet. It’s all pure fantasy.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Of course! That’s just fiction. That’s more flattering than anything. And the farther it is from reality, the safer it is for me.”

“Eh wait a minute! That comic book is older than me. And Batman started appearing several years before that. It doesn’t fit. There was another Batman before you?! Oh my god, was it your father? You’re a dynasty of Batmen!”

Peter laughed at that incongruous idea. “No, my father never was Batman!”

“Oh. Then…” Neal paused for a moment. “It must be Hughes! He is your friend and you’re his favorite at the office – don’t deny it, that’s obvious.”

“Please Neal, I told you, the less you know the better. I mean it. Stop asking, please.”

“You’re not denying that it’s Hughes! Oh that’s awesome. The White Collar bosses fighting – I quote – _psychos and serial killers_ , at night!”

“Neal!” Peter protested.

“I swear, I won’t say anything! Last thing I want to do is mess with Hughes. But I knew there was something about that guy…”

Neal went quiet at last, and Peter took that opportunity to take the conversation back to more serious grounds.

“Neal, about Arthur Cooper; did you check his background before going undercover?”

“Well, yes, we did, nothing came up. I told you, I don’t know how he knew me.”

“I did some research on my own.”

“With your Batcomputer?”

“Neal!” Peter groaned, "This is serious now. It was a close call!”

“Sorry Peter. I’m listening.”

“It appears that Arthur Cooper did a job for a guy who knew another guy who had been linked to Keller. Obviously Keller spread the word that you were a bad seed."

“Is that why you crashed our take down?”

“I don’t mean to interfere in your investigations but I had a bad feeling about that one.”

“Guess you were right.”

“We really need to be careful when sending you undercover. Your new reputation on the street isn’t good for us.”

“We will. And Peter?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Peter glanced at Neal fondly.  He gave his partner a simple nod and smiled. He knew he would never hear the end of Neal’s jokes and queries, but that was a small price to pay for making sure Neal was safe and sound. So, of course, he didn’t regret his action.

“Eh Peter, can you do your Batman voice?”

Actually, he might regret it just a little…

\--

Neal was out of his mind. He couldn’t believe it. Peter was Batman. He wasn’t sure what was more shocking, that Peter was The Dark Knight, or that he could keep such a secret from him. Neal had a hard time reconciling the Peter he knew with the image of the Hero he had heard of from the news – comic books aside.

Neal couldn’t help but laugh at his incredible discovery. It had sure made his day!

He looked at his super-partner with a renewed admiration. With a hint of amusement too. He could read Peter’s face like an open book. The smirk at the corner of his mouth was betraying the frown of the eyebrows. Peter was enjoying this conversation more than he was admitting.

“Come on, say it.”

“Say what?”

“‘ _I’m Batman’_ ” Neal mocked in a cavernous voice. He coughed. “How can you do that?!”

Peter didn’t react and Neal was about to repeat his question when a terrifying sound made him startle.

“ _I’m Batman_.”

Neal stared at Peter. His friend was grinning, satisfied at his effect. They both burst into laughter.

They had arrived at the Burke’s and Peter parked the car in front of his house.

“Come on, kid, get out of my Batmobile.”

Neal froze. “Is it really…” But Peter cut him off, chuckling. “Of course not!”

“That would have explained a lot about your driving though.” Neal muttered, slightly vexed.

As he got out, Neal turned to face Peter, on the other side of the car. Peter gave him a quizzical  look and Neal hesitated a second before finally saying what had been on his mind for most of the drive. He raised his gaze to find Peter’s.

“You know… In the comic books… Batman has a partner,” he said softly.

Peter frowned. “Oh no, Neal, no way!” He stated, shaking his head.

“You need a partner, Peter. I want in. I’ll be Robin.”

“No.”

“Please!”

“No.”

Neal grinned mischievously. “You can’t stop me.”

“Oh I can,” Peter countered. “I will lock you in the Batcave!”

Neal made a face. “Are there bats?”

Peter smirked. “Lots of bats. But you know Neal, if you want to be a super-hero, you’ll have to wear a costume. I wouldn’t have thought you were much into that kind of outfit.”

Neal frowned. “Is that really necessary?”

“It is!” Peter deadpanned. “You of all the people should know it. Make them focus on the mask so that they won’t look behind it.”

Neal’s contrite face made Peter laugh and he put his arm around Neal’s shoulders as he led him to the house. “Come on, Robin, let’s go.”

Neal smiled, full of hope. “So it’s a deal?”

Peter rolled his eyes but Neal caught his smile as his partner opened the door and let him in.

FIN

_**Author's Note:** This story was inspired by Kramer's comment from Countdown, my TDK Rises poster and a comment by Surreal on said poster._

[ ](http://imgur.com/u1oJQ)


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